May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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