I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
