my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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