I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
