It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
