3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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