I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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