you would pick up someone in the library
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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