he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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