So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
