God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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