Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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