you guys were way drunker than both of me
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
