we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
