just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
