I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
