is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
