there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
