well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
