If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
