i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
