Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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