We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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