she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Couch. On fire.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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