from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Found your dick twin last night
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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