So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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