Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
