I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
