dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
