so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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