She is in my trunk
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She even gives head with a lisp.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I deserve this hangover.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
