Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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