was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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