Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
