I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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