My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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