"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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