And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
