I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
