I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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