PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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