i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize