I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
