What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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