no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
