I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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