I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
