i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize