its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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