i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
