Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
