you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
