I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
