Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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