Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I love you.
Bad choice
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
