turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
